Nature and Us

As I lay there watching the forest through bus window.
The beauty of nature is breath taking to watch.
Untouched forest seems to hold a deep secret.
A secret we all are yet to be introduced with.

Although it nearly end of winter,
All those trees still holds it's green color with golden floor.
Small oak trees growing beautifully along the road.
Witnessing millions pass by them day and night on road.

Every tree has seen the development at its door steps.
Cried in fear of getting executed like their family.
Some lost their love to this developments.
Some are far witnessing the destruction befallen upon their family.

Some are mere few meters tall.
Growing out into the world of uncertain.
Unknown about their fate at all.
Road widening leading to their destruction.

The secret of pain befallen upon those beauties.
Haa roads are loaded with fallen beauties.
Fallen for the developmental activities.
The widening of road for our sake.

I wonder if its worth the destruction.
I wonder if such destruction could be replaced.
I wonder if this will be the last destruction.
I wonder would this be enough to feed our greed.

Only time will tell how our developmental activity plan were,
Only time will tell how wrong or right we were.
Only time will tell if it was the best action.
Only time will tell was this the best solution.

Impermenance of life

As I lay there watching the beautiful sun set,
Its beauty injects happiness into my life.
Yet as the sun slowly loses its heats and sets.
The sun depicts the impermenance of life.

Sadly but nothing is permenant here.
No matter how rich you are,
No matter how intelligent you are, 
No matter how strong you are.

When the life roles it's dice.
Every thing must come to its ultimate sense of reality.
The ultimate sense of impermenance.
We all must obey whats coming with full mentality.

Appreciate what you have with your whole heart,
Share what you can with under privilege ones,
And most importantly learn to accept and forgive.
We may never know next birth or tomorrow will come first.

No matter how beautiful a setting of sun may be,
It remains only for mere minutes to spare.
Life is too short to waste on unhappy things.
Focus on good things and be good.

Mother

A word MOTHER itself gives us a glimpse of hope..
When nothing seems to work, a smile from mother works like magic.
Nothing is lost until mother can't find it in our home.
Your shadow may betray you but mother will never betray her children.

Your love and care for me surpasses the measuring units.
Your sacrifices surpasses the limit of sacrificing.
To bring a smile on your face even for few seconds,
I am willing to give up on my own life.

When no one stood beside me, I found you.
When no one cared to help me, I found you.
When no one believed in my stupid dream, I found you.
You told me that I can do anything in this world and I believe you.

Silently she cries in the silence of night

Yeshi always wanted to do something great in her life, she always believed that her existence was not merely to occupy a space in this world but to fullfilled a destined work alocated just for her.

With a hope, she goes to Thimphu the city of dream come true.

Everything goes as per her plan, she gets a job of a sell girl, her employee gave her food and lodging.

She felt like she could save some money to sent back home at her village to her poor parents. She was a very hardworking girl, she did all she could to sell and attract customers.

A news got spread about how polite and soft speaking she was and it in turn ended up attracting more customers. Everything was going fine until a fine looking guy entered into her life

He was a good looking guy with a soft flattering worded guy, he usually came to her shop to buy and eventually both of them became friend. He would never miss a chance to flirt with her with his flattering words.

Things started to change for her, her saving were being used for recharging his mobile balance and before she can find out the ultimate truth, she has used up all her savings and her salary just to entertain her love and his greed. She even ended up taking credits to sent money back home.

When her saving was exhausted and she could no more pay the bills for his entertainments and recharge his balance, he left her there. Left her broken, shattered and most of all he used her for his own greed.

She couldn't believe what just happened, all her beautiful world just collapse. Her savings were gone, she had no money to sent back home and the credit she has taken is too high to pay with her current job.

She finally ended up joining Drayang, the tips that she got every time, she saved it and used it to pay her credits. Life was tough for her, in silence she would always cry. In those silent night, only her tears can be seen, for she is crying inside.

She would always show a fake smile but silently she always cried, yet knowing that her money is helping her poor family back at village gave her hope.

Now she talks harshly, acts like she don't care but once she was different, once she was a girl with beautiful dreams now she only thinks about her self and her family.

It may look like love and commitment means nothing to her but believe me deep inside her, she wants to be loved and she wants to have a happy married life but her experince always tells her not to trust.

Next time you all go to Drayang and all, please think twice before calling them with slang and harsh words. We never know how much those words would hurt them. They may reply back with more slang words but silently they would be crying for hearing such words about them. You may say such words and go back home with no problem but those girls would go back to their room and cry out loud and blame themselves. Although they may have no fault.

There are many Yeshi like girl out there who are trying there best to make a living, they have a family back at village to support. Please help them if not at least don't ruin them... Thank you...

Mistakes under your sweet correction.

Life of Patrolling Police Officer

As and when the sun sets and the silence of night over takes the Capital, the real duty of Pema starts. He is a police officer who has to keep the Thimphu city save for all its inhabitants.

It's cold out there but he still manages to keep a smile and cracks jokes with his friend as and when they go for patrolling the capital city.

He feels proud for he knows that he is the reason why people are able to sleep soundly at night without fear of being killed or robbed.

As and when his team makes the patrolling, the cold ice wind welcomes them with a pain that of a pricking needle onto the skin. Yet he still makes sure he checks every nock and corner of the city.

His pay is just enough to sustain him but he has to do the job that's should be paid more, when all are sleeping warmly at their cozy houses. There you can see Pema and his team constantly patrolling every nighy so that people like us can be save.

Have we ever wonder how cold and how risky it is to patrol at late night. 

Pema remembers the time when his team was nearly over ran by straw dogs, some times they get into trouble as they never know who or what might be waiting for them in those silence night. There were times when they were hit with showers of stones from unknown direction.

Although it's a risky job yet Pema and his teams never loses a sweat to keep their fear and unknown fate of those silence night aside to go out there at night every time to keep the city save and sound.

When ever I go back home at night, seeing Pema like people doing their works sincerely every night gives me a feel that nothing wrong can happen as long as they are there to protect the night.

Definitely they are the Night Angels of the silence night that makes sure nothing wrong happen to its inhabitants.

By the time Pema reaches his home, he is too tired to even cook a meal and ends up sleeping directly from the duty. Yet he still continues his daily routine as usual no matter how tough it is.

We should respect them and well I believe that Police deserves the highest respect among all the occupation out there...  Just my opinion la... Thank you...

Coincident or God's doing

 24-1-2018

As we started our journey back to Haa from Phuentsholing in a taxi, a sense of happiness engulfed me. The sense of secure and mind relieving emotions filled me, we were only two passenger to travel towards Haa.

It was 1:23 PM when we started the journey, as we moved by RIGSS Building, 2 ladies joined us on the journey, they wanted to go till Rametay.

Well the sense of being accompanied by ladies definitely drives ones happiness beyond words, in a good way though. But after nearly 20 minutes we were near Rametay and the two ladies got off the taxi, paid the fare to taxi driver and flashed a smile towards me. 😂 well ok, may be it was for taxi driver but I felt it too.

After few minutes, I requested the driver to stop the taxi as i wanted to buy some oranges from the road side vendor. When I was buying the oranges, an elderly monk asked the driver to take him till Chuzom.

Few minutes of words where shared between monk and the driver and the fare was fixed, Nu.400 till Chuzom.

I bought 3 plastic full of oranges for Nu. 300 and 2 plastic full of cooked cassava (Shing Jog Tang) a perfect little return gift back home.

Our journey continued, it was a cloudy day and I could notice some dark clouds hovering above in the sky. Since it was a gloomy weather, I crossed my eyes and went for a quick nape. The monk was chanting his mantras and it definitely gave me a comfortable feeling to fall asleep.

As I opened my eye after a quick nape, we had crossed Gedu. It was slightly raining and we could hear the hailstones hitting the vehicle.

Suddenly the dark fogs engulfed us making the surrounding look like a dark forest, it looked as if it was a night time since it was quite dark outside.

Suddenly driver said, "Today it looks as if I am driving on a different and unknown road."

As and when he said that I felt this strange feeling engulf me as if someone up there was signaling for something to happen.

Krrr. Rrrr..., our taxi slides over as Driver tries to make a turn.

It takes us few meters away from the road, luckly there was few meters of land away from the road side where the brakes worked.

We all remain there for few seconds in a complete silence. A silence loaded with full of mixed emotions; fear, shock and confusion.

We all were in utter shock, driver restarted the car, he didn't say anything. He slowly looked back at us and looked at us as if to see if anyone of us was injured.

Driver cracked a joke about how close we were to experience a helicopter ride down the cliff, other two passenger laughed half heartily where as I felt how strange it was, the minute he said that he felt like driving on a different road, the accident occurred.

As we continued our journey, we were not the only one who experienced that moment,  few kilometer up the road,we saw a loaded bolero tilted 45 degree to the mountain, and again after few minutes we saw a car being pulled by other vehicle away from the cliff.

I knew how close we were to die there, luckly no one we meet on the road had serious accident. Our driver drove slowly so as to prevent any mishaps. The elder monk beside me started chanting his mantras again.

I am not so much into religion but I really felt this deep connection with the God when I saw how luckly we were to be able to prevent such an accident.

As the elder monk was chanting, I closed my eyes and started chanting mantra in my mind.

Definitely I was lucky to have that elder monk with us, for I felt that it was his good merits that saved us yesterday.
Definitely he was a God in disguise.

When we reached Chuzom, I smiled at elderly monk and he smiled back and said something I might never forget.

He said, "I am glad I was with you all and it was a happy journey," in sharshop.

It was as if he knew something like this was suppose to happen and he came to rescue. Sadly I didn't even ask his name  but only shared few conversation along the way.

It really feels great to have gone through such accident and come out alive. Definitely someone above is watching us.

At Chuzom, a young monk accompanied us, I really felt happy as again a monk would be travelling with us on the journey.

Few meters away from Chuzom, I received a call from my sister informing me that it was snowing heavily at Haa.

Well Haa road is known for its turns and for its narrow roads but I was feeling save for I felt that maybe this young monk was here to save the day again.

When we reached near Wanakha Central School, we were engulfed with snow fall and foggy weather. I looked at the monk and smiled at him, he smiled back and I took that smile as a sign of save journey till my house.

Since the young monk was with us, the journey didn't face any trouble and we had a smooth drive. The young monk stopped the taxi at Tsulungkha and he disappeared into the snowfall.

Now that I was near to my home, I just relaxed back on the sit and thought of how strange it was today. Being accompanied by monk and having averted such an accident

Then again accompanied by second monk after the first one left. Is it just coincident or was it God's doing to take me home save. I wonder and well I am glad I am alive. PLEASE be save and drive carefully while travelling to Phuentsholing... Thank you... Chant some mantras for save journey...

A thousand thoughts

As I lay there under the tree,
Thousand flawless thoughts roams free
Every blowing wind chants about thee.
About how beautiful a person you are.
Every chanting words like an art,
Gets imprinted into my wall of heart.

Outnumbering the leaves of the tree,
Thousand thoughts runs free;
Thoughts of marrying you my dear.
Thoughts of having you near.
Thoughts of getting old together.
Thoughts of being your Mr. Perfect.

Thoughts accumulates into a beautiful sea.
Sea so vast, it's other end I can hardly see.
Sea so deep, I seems to sink in its beauty.
A mere boat is all I need to experience it's beauty.
A boat I am trying very hard to get.
Every interview takes me far away from the boat.

A beautiful boat is all we need for now.
A boat that will keep us dry and happy.
I felt a boat was a mere one step away from graduation.
Who knew it was just my imagination.
Reality was out of my sense to comprehend.
I need you to give me courage by holding my hand.

A beautiful dream now turned to mere thoughts.
A dream so beautiful once it was:
I will be the captain, you be my firstmate.
I will be the ocean, you be my waves.
I will be the sun, you be my rays.
I will be the King, you be my Princess.

When my senses came into reality,
I was there still daydreaming under the tree.
Thousand thoughts still flowing free.
Free into the cold winter weather,
Through the leaves it still flows,
Flows with everlasting love and bliss.

For now all I know is;
Wait for me for I will wait for you.
A beautiful future I will create just for us.
A future both of us would be proud of.
A future our children will grow in.
Just wait for me to get a boat for us to
win.

Win this little journey of life.
Lets win it together till the end.

What I was going through and what you all thought about it

# It's merely for fun reading#

I wore torn jeans for I couldn't afford new ones and yet you all thought I was being a fashion freak.

I ate less because I couldn't afford more to eat yet you all thought I was dieting.

I cried over small emotions for it was enough to initiate the pain I was going through and over flowed my bearing capacity yet you all thought I was emotional.

I swimmed every time in the river for I couldn't afford to have a warm water to take bath yet you all thought I was fond of swimming.

I sang my horrible voice out everytime I felt bore for I couldn't afford to buy a music player to listen to music and yet you all though I loved singing.

I went to school very early on foot for I couldn't afford to go on a taxi and yet you all thought I was money minded.

I worked every vacation to earn some money for my family was too poor to buy me new books and clothing for school yet you all thought I was busy and had no time for roaming with you all.

I didn't join over any school or class picnic for I couldn't ask money from parent to pay for it yet you all thought I was being antisocial.

I don't talk much with you all for i am scared I might fall for all the happiness you all possessed yet you all thought I was being damnless.

I felt bad when I lost my pen for buying new was out of option for me yet you all thought I was crying for such a  silly reason.

I skipped lunch and started doing my homework during every lunch time to stop myself from getting hungry   because I didn't have a container to bring my lunch and yet you all thought I was very hardworking and didn't have time to spare for food also.

I didn't joined school games club not because I wasn't good at any game but because I couldn't afford to buy the dress and shoes needed for it and yet you all though I was a book worm for I joined literacy club.

I wrote this piece for I was utilising my idle mind into something productive and yet you all thought I went through this.

Better to write some thing than keep thinking about useless stuff over and over in our idle mind... Happy reading...

Flashback

                                                 
As I am sitting next to Bukhari sipping down my hot suja, a sweet memory just plays itself into my saturated frozen brain due to Haa cold weather;

“Every time I would gaze from my window just to catch a glimpse of her. I wonder if she has any idea how much she means to me, I wonder if she will ever know how I feels about her deep inside my heart and soul. I am not sure how much of love can I hide inside myself, sometimes it feels as if I will explode trying to hide all those beautiful moments I have about her although all those moments are just about her and what she has been doing.

I still remember how I met her for the first time near the Kharpandi Goenpa, I have met many girls in my life but I have never seen someone who is so much into helping others. I still remember you helping that old lady to walk towards the Goenpa. I was there few steps behind you just admiring how carefully and slowly you were helping that old lady. She is in her early 80’s for I have talked with her ever since I joined CST and went to Goenpa  for evening walk, I saw your friends leaving you behind all alone with that old lady.

She just kept on helping that old lady, she took her to that small shop near the Goenpa and made the old lady to sit on the chair. I have seen that old lady couple of times near the Goenpa all alone and never saw anyone helping her once also. I saw that the old lady was happy to be with her for she was so keen on helping that old lady. The last time I saw a smile on her face was when I offered her a cup of tea with hot momo for it was raining that day at the Goenpa. 

Well this time I see that old lady is happier than before when I was helping her, the way she was looking at the old lady drinking that tea really makes me wonder what is running in her mind. I am just amazed how she can smile and keep on helping that old lady although she is just a stranger whom she met by chance near the Kharpandi Goenpa gate. I was there looking at her when she left the old lady at her regular sitting place in front of the Goenpa.

She just smiled at the old lady for last time and went away towards her friends who were all busy taking selfies at the Goenpa.  I just went towards that old lady and as usual I gave her a smile and chatted with her for a while before my friends reached Goenpa from the hostel.

I have met that girl only once but I never thought she will keep an impression on me, even while returning back to my hostel, the way she was helping that old lady kept on playing on my mind. I knew she was one of the students here but I had no idea which field and which year she was.

Since I am first year, I wasn’t at all sure how to find out about her but I know that the only chance I have of meeting her is at Goenpa. I was excited by the thought of meeting her again tomorrow. All I remember is her heart melting smile and her helping nature.

As I head back to my hostel through the shortcut above the Goenpa, I notice a glimpse of her. I carefully act as if I left something at Goenpa and lets my friend to go on their own.

As I lay there near the wall, I can see clearly how much she is happy feeding those newly born puppies. The way she is touching them and padding them one by one, I have noticed those puppies but never dared to go near them for I didn’t want to be attacked by its mother. 

I must say she is brave enough to go there and touch the puppies near its mother. It seems she is a regular visitor for I don’t see any objection from the mother side.

As she pulls out a packet of biscuits and starts to feed them, I get this pinch in my heart. A strange feeling engulfs me, each ticking second sound of my wrist watch was so loud to my dear ears. My eyes wanted to capture her whole image but my brain knew that I was acting like a desperate baby. I somehow convinced myself to let go of this feeling this time and hurry back to hostel.

I am not sure why God favored me because I had no idea I could see her early in the morning, I was just opening my curtain and then there she was with her friend going for breakfast, I could hardly believe myself. A rush of hormone kicked in and within 5 minutes I too was on my way to dining hall from my hostel. There I saw her at the right corner of the dining hall eating her breakfast, since it was early around 7:10 Am, the number of students dining were very less. I sat at the left corner most just to get the perfect view of her.

Since then I have always been looking from my window to see if she is going for breakfast or not, so that I could just get another chance to see her again.”

It gets too hot to sit near Bukhari so I move backward trying to ease myself thereby disrupting the flashback going on in my brain. I surely was into her those days ha ha…

Coming back to the reality, I must say those days were the best days of my life. Love, happiness, crush, admire filled my soul those days. How I wish those moments could be rewind and relive...

Hope it was fun to read… Please bear if any mistakes... Thank you...

Kharpandi Goenpa (Sorry I only know by this name)
Situated over a small hill with spectacular view point.
Just below College of Science and Technology (CST)

LOVE

It's when you miss her at your busiest hour that you love her not at 1 or 2 am when you are alone...

It's when no matter how angry you are, you always have an ear to listen to her no matter how silly talk it is.

It's when suddenly you miss her for no concrete reasons, looking back at your phone just seeing her name on the contact list gives you a smile, that's love.

It's when you think about her happiness more than your own.

It's when you are scared to lose her although you haven't done anything wrong.

It's when you handover your salary to your wife so that she can manage the house running budget.

It's when little change in her behaviour hurts you alot.

It's when even without being in contact for few days or week won't create any ackwardness when next time you chat with her.

It's when no matter shy guys you are, you always gets a chance to show your true self.

It's when you get the urge to live your life with her not that you can't live without her.

It's when you feel save in her presence.

It's when you feel like irritating her for every little things.

It's when you treat her more like a lady than some mere puppet to have a pleasurable time.

It's when you discuss things with her before doing it.

It's when you feel the important of her opinion on the most important life matters.

It's when you get this intense pain when ever she ignores you.

It's when you place her in your life as a needed person that you love her.

If any more reason are there I am open to opinions la...

It's merely for fun reading... My opinions and what I feel... happy reading 😀😀😀

Just pouring out my frustration...

When you feel like everything is going according to plan, life throws you away in such a way that you feel like the decisions you have taken long time back was a mistake. I should have join there, I should have done better research of future scope before going for it and all kinds of thought runs days and nights.

Sometimes you don't want to wake up not because you haven't finished your sleep but because the reality hurts more than one can bear.

When you see you classmates and juniors doing better with their life, you are  here not able to do anything, you have a degree but what's it's value in real life. People judge you by the job you get, if you have no job, you doesnt matter. That's what I feels everytime I go through every painfull day.

Life definitely loves to take lots of tests, preliminary exams and when you reach to the end exam, it kicks you so hard, standing up back seems pointless and meaningless... I am not sure how many of  you went through this and got out but I am just into it and it feels like hell out here, this last 1 years felt like decade.

I reappeared my exam but all in vain, some mistakes happened and i end up losing some marks i guess.

Most of my friend are shock to hear the result, I on the other side felt like my world just collapse and I am being burried under the gravels of my beautifully imagined world.

I didn't ask for, to be a billionaire, nor a first prise in lottery, not even a single penny. All I wanted was; the fruit of my hard work for last 17 years I have used to study hard and reach to this level.

I studied when my friends where busy going for outing, I stayed late night studying when my friend where having dreams.  I worked extra hard for I knew I wasn't born with intelligent they all possessed.

I did all my best and what do I end up with, a degree certificate which has no value unless you get a job. Society who once appreciated for getting a degree now talking bad things behind you.

Those sociaty who always gave you appreciation talk, end up asking why are you wasting your time by not applying for jobs. They have no idea how many times before I went to bed, I have shed tears because there was no vacancy announcement today. With hope there will be tomorrow I sleep and it destroys me when ever vacancies are announced  due to following reasons;

First vacancy is for in-service, who already have a job offered jobs, raining where there is plenty of water.

Second they want experienced candidate when we are not given opportunity from where will we get experience.

Thirdly, they give more importance to viva, some of us are born with shyness and fear of talking openly to some officers. That doesn't mean that we can't do the work, I wonder if communications skills that important than knowledge skills... Maybe they can fix a broken machine or corrupted file with their influencing speech...

This is the end of 1 year I am going through that pain of not knowing what to do, how to do, where to ask for help.

I know everyone will say, "be an entrepreneur, you are an engineer you will get the job just wait, try in private, cooperation. Try outside the country, try with small jobs now and you will get the experience," I know they are telling all this because they care and genuinely wants to help. But sometimes its good to let that person be at peace.

I really appreciate their concern and I want to tell them that it's not that I am not trying... It's just that sometimes rejection from so many companies and jobs puts a barrier into ones thinking capability and destroys your hope.

Have you ever wonder why someone who was so much fun loving suddenly becomes angry man, short tempered, harsh speaking. It's not that they have changed, it's just that world has molded them into something they once fear they would become.

I am not sure what future holds for me,
I am not sure how I am going to face the critism of sociaty,
I am not sure how I can manage to smile my way out of this,
I am not sure will I ever get out of it,
I am not sure for how long my pillows can hide my tears from the world,
I am not sure how long can I keep up with this fake smile and fake acting.
I am not sure how long can I keep this little hope of seeing a bright future.
I am not sure how long will my diary keep up with my emotions brust I scribbled onto it.
I am not sure when will my collapse world be rebuilt.
I am not sure how long can I bear the pain my parents are going through.
I am not sure how I have to bear the pain of knowing my parents are feeling sad although they always encourage me...
I am not sure for how long my mom and dads encouraging will keep me fighting.

All I know is that if you aren't born with luck, no matter how hard you try, you will always fail to conqure your goal or may be the goal I have set for myslef is too high to achieve.

As long as I am here, I will never give up but I would appreciate if sociaty doesn't add to the problm I am already weighing down with. FUNNY how sociaty judges you although you turn deaf ears to them, they always finds a small defect in my method to hurt me...

# This piece isn't meant to hurt anyone la, I am sorry If it offends anyone la.. I always felt good after sharing my thought in my diary and this days since I am trying blogging, I am sharing here...#